i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
