I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
