You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize