Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
