benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
