I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
