Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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