No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize