I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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