Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
