Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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