Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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