I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
