Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
