like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize