All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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