He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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