Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
