So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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