worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
