Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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