We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
