i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
