it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize