I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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