PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
