the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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