I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
