Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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