I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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