I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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