I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We named our party play list daddy issues
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I need to sanitize my soul.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
