yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You are the jesus of drinking
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
