I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
