I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
