2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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