yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
