I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
