did you get engaged???
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
