Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
