I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
