if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
