it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
