The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
