i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
