Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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