sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
