i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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