Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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