around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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