youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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