Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
