it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
