take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
