Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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