He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
