My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
