wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
