I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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