is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
