You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
