come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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