1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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