i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
