Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
