Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
