addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
