I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
