I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
